Monday, September 21, 2009
People, beagles, may be asking themselves what's with the lull in bugles? I'm a celebrity gossip columnist. You can't expect a celebrity to do something, say something worth writing every day. They're not machines. Although Haley Jole Osment played a pretty good one. Also, I'm not a machine. Although I eat, defecate and sleep at the same time on a daily basis. It's detailed on my resume. But this weekend I did those things double-time and alas was unable to work in a bugle. However today, I got an inside tip on some late-barking news and was back to my routine.
Michael Moore's second chin has signed on to star as the new villain, The Gobbler, in the next Batman installment. In other Michael Moore news, he still hates capitalism but I've heard likes to wipe his ass with Hamiltons. Because he hates capitalism so much.
Apparently the Emmy's were on last night. Or was it the night before?
David Hasselhoff has a drinking problem. Still. Explains hosting America's Got Talent. Still.
Kelly Clarkson is a fan of her butt. Her words. And Sir-Mix-Alot's.
I'll try to stay on the ball. Be it the bugle. I'd lick all ya'll if I could. I'll just think of ya'll when I'm licking my paws.
Love your celebrity!