Friday, January 21, 2011

Fear and Loathing in Wheaton

Hello 2011!

I'm back. Like a rash. Speaking of, I think I got one of those. Picked it up from one of my uncles (George or Bailey). Not like that. I mean they are creeps but not your prototypical "creepy uncle(s)." They're schizos. Is that contagious? Maybe I have that and the rash is part of it. It feels good to itch it though. Or is it scratch? I never got that. Anyway, they were crashing with us for two weeks. It was a wild ride! We sniffed the bejeezes out of one another. Stayed up late. Slept through the day. Used bookshelves, briefcases, and all the above as fire hydrants. Pounded bone after bone. George took it too far. He got pretty messed up on an old rawhide and put the ole bone goggles on and I'm not sure what he was seeing but I had a pretty good buzz going when I saw him wheel-barreling Bailey! WTFug! I know they're from Iowa but still...! They say it's a dominance issue or something. I wouldn't know. I dominate those two toadstools like Oprah at Krispy Kreme. Whatever though. I can't judge. Only condescend. Chris Matthews taught me that. The two weeks were good though. Sowed some oats for sure. Got all of my Fear and Loathing fantasies realized. I guess I can scratch those off my list. Or is it itch?!

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