Monday, March 7, 2011
Op Ed: OUTRAGE
b*tch. Which has become a problem with the current demise of our economy. As Westminster winner P. Krugman (first Schnauzer to win) recently penned, "Money is cheap. Milk Bones are expensive. It's too early to make a prediction for DWTS." He's right, milk bone prices have shot up ten cents in the last three years and money prices have tanked. But dude, you are dead wrong about DWTS! Kristie Alley will not just win, but dominate. There's nothing she wouldn't or couldn't do for a Klondike bar. And there's nothing I wouldn't do, better yet, there's nothing I haven't done for a milk bone. I won't go into detail (my grandmas read this), but what I do want to detail are the sacrifices that I have been forced to make because of Frannie Drescher (lesbian) and Freddie Prince Jr.'s (hottie) mortgage Fonzie (Hey!) scheme. I told McCain back in 2005 that it was getting too big. I was referring to his comb over though. Every time he got out of the shower he looked like the crypt keeper. He wouldn't listen though. And now we're in a recession. And just like Tyra Bank's receding hairline, such has become my milk bone intake. I remember the glory days (2007-2007) where the milk bones used to flow like something that really flows and every time I made a bowel movement I was reimbursed. Those days are gone. These are turbulent times we live in. Sacrifices must be made, but really mom and dad?! They're freaking milk bones!! I'm not a Wisconsin teacher, I'm a dog! And I deserve to be treated as such!!